November 15

I am noticing a trend - on days I take pictures of other people, I don't pick up my camera to photograph my own people. I suppose it's better that way; I currently have over 800 photos from yesterday and today to go through and cull down to about 100 images, which I will then edit. Pictures of my kids would only get lost in that pile.

Today we went to church, where we saw Emily and her boys, then our weekly trip to Costco. I got Eli down for his nap, finished my last sewing project (except for a few diapers that I'm starting to think may never get converted to snaps...), and ate lunch before it was time to head out for two photo shoots. They were probably my two most challenging photo shoots to date, but I'm optimistic that there are some good images among all the ones of uncooperative children and irritable parents. 

I came home to find this:

Chris totally had things under control. Lily was still napping, Caleb and Daisy were playing happily, Eli had taken a bottle and was napping in the Ergo, dinner was almost ready, and Chris was texting a friend.

I realize that not every husband is this capable, competent, and helpful, and I am so, so thankful. 

I feel like I am a very different person now than I was when I stopped working and became a mother six years ago. I have discovered new skills and strengths, but I have also put away parts of myself. They've sat on a shelf, dusty and unused for years. Now that I'm doing this photography thing, I get to dust them off and try them on again, and it's fun. I'm remembering things I used to be good at, and I get to be good at them again. I get to be creative in a way that I haven't been for a long time. I get to finish projects. Even though I mostly feel like a giant phony when it comes to photography and I am constantly fearful that people will be disappointed in my work, I am thankful for this little chance to stretch myself in a different way. All of this would be impossible without Chris running things at home. He is ever patient, ever supportive, and ever helpful. 

I am thankful.

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