March 22

Since Chris and I got back from our trip, Caleb has been really resistant about doing school. It's hard, because I know he prefers home schooling to public schooling, but if he isn't a willing participant, then public school may be a better option for us in the fall. Even harder is that all of the ideas I have for adjusting our homeschool setup to make it more likely that he will cooperate are really challenging to implement because of the three other children wandering around the house, also needing my attention and assistance. I know it is possible, because I know several families with lots of children who homeschool. Our family just hasn't figured it out yet. 

Hopefully we will soon.

Right now, we like to have slow mornings. Eli goes down for his nap around 9 or 9:30, so before then I let the kids play, eat breakfast and second breakfast, whatever. This morning, it looked like this:

"I came up with a new Star Wars character, Mommy! She is a bounty hunter and she works for the good guys and the bad guys!" 

(This was the costume for Daisy's "character". She was really proud of herself.)

Making faces in the mirror.

(See Caleb's "Super Baby" drawing in the foreground? It's a superhero who is also a baby. He has a pacifier gun that shoots pacifiers at bad guys.)

Eli, chewing on a toy that is not for babies. Looking at this picture, I am cringing at the thought of all the chemicals it may contain. I think I will put that up.

Eli is totally into tickling right now. Here, he is "getting" his Bubby.

Giving Caleb kisses. Caleb loves this.

Eli is such a silly, mischievous little boy!

I love these brothers!

Really, I love all of these kids. I love that they prefer to be together, and that they are happiest playing with each other. I love that they are generally kind and helpful with each other. There is always fighting and bickering, but the happy sweet moments definitely outweigh the unkind ones.

I spent 45 minutes trying to put Eli down for his morning nap, which is much longer than I usually spend, and significantly longer than I want to spend. In the end, he decided not to sleep. So. 

Baby who doesn't want to nap + big kid who doesn't want to do school = Angry Mom.

Luckily, it was gorgeous outside, so we decided to walk up to the library and get some new books.

The kids stopped and explored along the way.

Then, we decided to explore an area in our neighborhood that we always drive past, but have never been through. It is a grassy green area that is labeled as a park, but just looks like a greenway. Once we got off the road, though, we discovered a bridge and a hidden alcove of a park. 

Or rather, an abandoned park. All that was left was a cannon and a vintage climbing structure so old that trees were growing through it. 

These kids felt like explorers who had found something magical. I don't blame them! How often do you find a cannon sitting in an abandoned cove?

We decided Grandma would love the climber because it kind of looked like saguaro cactuses. The kids were really pleased with it.

Finally, we moved on to the library, then home for a late lunch. Since my default for grouchy kids is to put them outside in the sun, I grilled them hot dogs and let them eat lunch outside.

Bright sunshine = happy kids.

Lily has just started telling jokes, and it is really funny. Usually they are ones she has heard Caleb tell, but she tells them all on her own, without any help. Usually she says, "Mommy, can I tell you joke?"

And then this happens:

Eli climbs the slide now.

Then this happened: 

Lily is totally into pretend play lately. She often tells me, "My baby is sleeping. Be quiet. Don't wake my baby up!" Today, her baby was swinging.

She is a good little mama.

Hi, Lily!

Eli fought afternoon nap, too, and even bedtime was a challenge. At the end of the day, I felt defeated. I was discouraged and sad and frustrated and worried that maybe I need to go back to see my doctor again, because I seem to not be handling these things well.

I still haven't decided what to do about that, but I sat down with a glass of wine to read my MOPS magazine that came in the mail today. On the very last page, I came across Zephaniah 3:17, and it spoke to my heart. "The Lord is with you wherever you go. He is mighty to save. He takes great delight in you and will quiet you with His love. He rejoices over you with singing."

I immediately wrote is on our chalkboard wall. I needed to hear this verse as a parent, and as a child of God. My prayer is that I will allow God's love to quiet all of the noise in my head. I am also praying that I can follow the example of how a parent loves his children; that God will help me to take great delight in my children, and when things go awry, that I can quiet them with my love, instead of with my loud words. I'd love your prayers for this, too.