April 22

I'm not sure how to feel about today.

It was sunshiny and happy, with birds singing and a lovely walk to the library with my sweet, well-behaved children.

But then there were allergies. Lots of sneezing.

And Daisy's cold. Lots of gunk out of her nose. Lots of middle-of-the-night waking that leaves Mommy irritated and exhausted.

But the kids took marvelous naps, and I was absurdly productive.

And then they woke up. There was fussing. 

Whining.

Pouting. Shouting.

Time outs.

One frustrated mama.

Finally, I sent them both out the the back yard so that I could make dinner without hearing Caleb fuss at the slightest provocation.

In the middle of dinner prep, I looked out the window and saw this.

There's not quite as much fussing when there's sunshine and muscle shirts and swings involved.

Except that Caleb is still learning how to propel himself on a swing and Daisy can only get her belly on the swing, so the two of them couldn't do much besides sit, sway, and look happily at each other. And then Daisy climbed up into the clubhouse and started crying for no particular reason. And then Caleb started pestering her. And then for a moment, they'd play nicely. But then the crying would start up again.

Finally, my knight in shining armor returned home from work to entertain the children. After dinner, they played ball in the front yard. I sat on my porch swing, watching my family play happily. And then Caleb dissolved into a shrieking, sobbing fit anytime the ball rolled into the street because he was afraid Daddy wouldn't catch it in time and it would roll into the sewer. And then I started sneezing. And then Daisy just wanted to be held.

This season will pass, and someday I will remember it fondly. Tonight, I remember a tricky mixture of giggles and sunshine and independence and play, combined with hair-pulling and night-waking and toy-snatching and strategic ignoring. And all I really want to do is sleep. Maybe that will fix everything.