August 3

Today was the first full day without Chris, and we survived. I was impatient quite a few times, but I think my attitude and heart are in the right place, and the Holy Spirit is going to get me through it. At least, that's what I'm praying. I wrote the chalkboard wall today:

"Careless words stab like a sword,

but the words of wise people bring healing."

-Proverbs 12:18

So I'm praying that I will not utter careless words, but rather use my words to mend and heal my children's hearts when they are angry and frustrated. I might need some extra prayer, though, if anyone has some to offer.

Thanks to my mom, I was able to go up to the gym, which helped a lot. My mom is a gem, and I am thankful for her.

Oh, but pictures! I only have cell phone pictures today. Sorry.

The three little ones all napped at the same time, and I used the window to prep dinner while Caleb played with Legos. When dinner was ready to go, I tricked Caleb into crawling in bed with me so that I could nap.

And then Eli woke up.

And then Lily woke up.

But I wanted my nap, by golly, so I brought them all into my big bed and let Caleb and Lily watch PBS kids.

Eli watched his fuzzy toy.

I'm going to say that this picture is distorted, and neither Eli nor I actually look like that.

And then I looked over and realized that Lily, who had been sitting between Caleb and me, had inched her way over until she climbed into Caleb's lap. Caleb was so absorbed in the show that he didn't even complain; he just tried to find a way to see around her.

It was so cute and funny!

(Lily has  both applesauce and yogurt in her hair, which is why it looks like that. She's been resisting my attempts to pull it back lately. But tonight was bath night, so it no longer looks like she is attempting to grow dreads.)

I'm pretty sure this was the sweetest thing ever!

I really should go to bed, but I am dying to share the lovely photos that my friend Sara took for our anniversary. Do you want to see? Of course you do! Warning: I am sharing 29 pictures. That's a lot. And for some reason, there are an inordinate amount with me in them. But since I'm always behind the camera, I figure it's fair that there are more of me this time.

Lily threw up in the morning and we took pictures in the evening. She was not very cooperative.

At least she was cute!

I am absolutely in love with every version of this picture.

Seriously. 

And this one is so totally Daisy!

Lily would not pose for pictures with me, but Sara managed to capture this shot.

My boys. 

This girl is such a little imp. And yes, I have lots of gray hair. No, I am not planning to color it. I'm hoping it will all grow in a lovely white. That happens, right?

I'm so thankful I got one curly-haired child out of the bunch!

Though I suppose Eli still has plenty of time to grow curls, too.

Sweet baby! Look at that pudgy little hand!

He is so handsome.

And speaking of handsome...

I thought he was handsome when I married him thirteen years ago, but he's even more handsome now.

I love that he laughs at everything I say. Really, he laughs at everything everyone says, but I like to imagine that it's just me, and that I'm really that funny.

Also, he makes me laugh. He really is that funny.

Lily saw this picture and flipped out. She loves it. I may have to print it and frame it for her.

Sweet boy.

We had these same buckets, filled with daisies, at our wedding. At the time, I never would have ever considered naming a future child "Daisy". Funny how that goes. 

I love how stone-faced the girls are, and how Caleb is kissing Chris' head while Chris kisses me.

I love everything about this girl. Did you see that she swiped my necklace?

And then Eli was hungry, and Sara took a few beautiful pictures of him nursing. 

I suppose knowing that he is likely the last child I will breastfeed makes me a bit more nostalgic about things like this. I am so thankful to have such beautiful pictures of a natural, normal moment for us.

You can't tell from these pictures, but Eli and I are sitting in the grass, under the tree that I had planted for our tenth wedding anniversary, across the pond from the gazebo where we were married.

Perfect.

Thank you, Sara!