August 12

Today was the day: Caleb's first day of school!

It still kind of blows my mind that I have a first grader; something about that seems so much older than a kindergartener. Caleb definitely had mixed emotions about today. He really wanted to stay home with us, but he was also a little excited about school. 

When it was time to take him to the bus stop, Caleb and Daisy were dressed and ready. Lily woke up just in time, and I had to wake Eli and wrap him on my back.

Before we could go, though, I had to take a few pictures.

That pretty much sums it up.

Luckily, Eli was on my back. All it took was a little peek-a-boo with Eli to make Caleb smile. 
My big first grader! Last week he decided what he would wear today, and he planned his clothes all week to make sure this shirt would be clean.

Off to the bus! 
There. That's my boy. Not sure, but he's gonna do it anyway.

My boy. 

First grade! 
(I love Lily trying her best to bomb the photo.)

It didn't even cross my mind that Daisy might have a hard time with Caleb going back to school. I was more worried about Caleb's heart. But as we walked to the bus stop, Daisy had at least two tantrums. She tripped and fell and scraped both elbows, and began screaming and crying hysterically.
Then she claimed that Caleb pushed her, and began screaming and crying. (He totally didn't push her.)

Then we saw the bus coming down the hill and Caleb wanted to give Daisy a goodbye hug. 
She would have none of it. She flat-out refused, and Caleb began crying. 
In that moment, my heart broke for my poor sweet boy. He can be a stinker sometimes, but he is really very sensitive. So with Eli on my back, I got down on my knees, wrapped my arms around him, and prayed over my crying little boy. I prayed for his heart, for his teacher, for his friends, for his day. And then I sent him on the bus.

Daisy had three more tantrums on the way home.

It wasn't until the end of the third one that I realized that she wasn't freaking out because she was overtired, or because she had gluten and sugar last night (though I'm sure those contributed to the problem). It was because she was upset about Caleb leaving her and she didn't know how to express those feelings. As soon as the lightbulb turned on in my head, I went back and hugged my little girl as she sobbed. Being four is hard work, and Daisy is so precocious that sometimes I expect more of her than one should expect from a four-year-old.

Of course, I still lost my patience with her several more times today. There's something about parenting a carbon copy of myself that is really challenging. But at least I understood.

We went on to a play date at the home of my new MOPS table leader and I met my new group before the first meeting on Thursday. I think it will be a fun year!

Since the playdate was right by the restaurant my sister manages, we stopped in to see her for lunch. The girls were ecstatic, and even more excited when my parents joined us, too. I was especially thankful for some extra hands, because Eli wanted to shove everything in his mouth. Kid is so ready for solid foods - he just has to start sitting independently first!

After lunch, we went home and took naps. All three children napped at the same time, and I treated myself to a celebratory margarita. It was lovely.

And then it was time to get Caleb off the bus. Just like last year, he emerged from the bus into his sisters' waiting arms. Both girls were so excited to have their brother back home, and they wrapped him up in big hugs. He had a good day, he loved the big kid playground, and he enjoyed snack time. A classmate was mean to him in line, but that was okay. He wanted to hug his favorite friend America, but one time last year a classmate teased him for hugging her. I asked him what the kid said, and he told me that he shouldn't tell me. When I pressed, he said, "He said 'K-I-S...'"
Oh! The boy teased you that you were kissing her!
A nod yes.
So we talked about side hugs as an option and how it's okay to hug girls who are our friends if we want to. Poor kid. I am often baffled by all of the things he experiences that he never tells me about.

Eli may not be able to hug Caleb yet, but the boys had a good snuggle/wrestling match on Lily's bed.


Those two will have so much fun together in a few years!

After dinner, I got all four kids bathed and in their jammies, and I let them watch PBS kids in my big bed while I put Eli down.

Aren't they sweet?
Eli didn't go down, but thankfully my mom arrived and handled things. She handles things like a boss, and I am thankful for her.

August 11

Today we:
visited Daisy's new preschool classroom (same teacher as last year, but a new building)
met Caleb's new teacher
celebrated Max's birthday

I was hoping we would have some big end-of-summer/back-to-school celebration, but I have to tell you: my creative/fun/awesome mama stores are just about depleted. I am done. So instead of doing something fabulous, we did what  needed to be done and had fun along the way.

Daisy is excited about her new classroom and the new playground that comes along with it. She already loves her teacher, so that part is easy. She was definitely nervous when we went to the classroom today, though. She clung to my hand and was basically glued to my side the whole time. By the end of our visit, though, she was feeling more confident.

Caleb did not want to go to his open house. I almost had to drag him to the van. It was kind of sad. We talked about how people sometimes feel nervous and excited and scared and anxious all at once, but he denied feeling nervous at all. He just didn't want to go. Eventually I got him out of the house and to his school. We met his teacher, who is lovely and young and very nice. We found his spot at his table in the classroom, and then started looking around to see what other kids were in his class. 

Either God is watching out for my boy, or his kindergarten teacher made a really kind suggestion, or a little bit of both, because Caleb's favorite friend (a little girl whose parents likely immigrated to the US and who probably doesn't speak English at home) from his class last year is also in his class this year. When we saw her name, Caleb's whole little body filled up with joy. There was honestly a physical change in my sweet, sensitive boy; he went from sad and scared and deflated to eager and confident and okay. America was in his class, and that was all that mattered. I nearly cried with thankfulness.

Objectively, I can look at this situation and see the silly mom who is way too involved in her child's life and feels glad that her kid has a friend in his class. But this is way, way more than  that. This is a moment of grace, and I am thankful.

Caleb left school much more excited and much less nervous for the first day tomorrow. He even gave his new teacher a hug on the way out. He's as ready as he'll ever be!

At home, we thanked my mom for her invaluable babysitting services and sent her home. It was nearly time for Max's birthday party!

I loaded the kids, the camera, my wrap, Max's present, and a dairy-free frozen pizza into the van, and off we went.

I had visions of taking stunning, memorable pictures of Max's birthday celebration. In reality, I handed my camera and iPhone to other people and ended up with a few sweet snapshots. So it goes. I'm just barely hanging on here.

Eli was overdue for a nap. He kept pulling my hair. I was thankful for my margarita.

During present-opening time, Lily plopped herself down in Emily's lap and supervised things. Emily was so sweet and gamely snuggled my girl while helping Max open his gifts. It made my heart melt just a little.

Eli finally fell asleep, so I handed my camera to Jenny to document things. She's  good sport. I was so thankful that darned baby finally fell asleep.

Daisy really, really wanted to sit in my lap, but she kept bonking Eli and waking him up. I sent her to go sit in Grandma's lap, and she was a very happy girl. 

I am thankful for my family. Eli was especially difficult tonight: I nursed and rocked him from 8:30-9:30, and the kid just refused to sleep. Finally I got to the point that I wanted to smash something, so I put him in the crib and left. My wonderful mom was here to help with bedtime, and she totally understood. She finished up with Lily and - no questions asked - went in to pick Eli up and rock him. It is such a blessing to have people who know and understand and take care of what needs to be taken care of without casting judgment. My mom makes everything better, and I am thankful for her.

And I think she finally got the baby to sleep. Praise the Lord.

August 10

I'm not sure how it happened, but today was our last Do-Nothing Monday of the summer. It went by so fast, but I feel like I did a pretty good job of balancing fun and freedom this summer.  Today, we read books, played outside, did laundry... it was perfect. Eli has not come anywhere near repeating his sleeping through the night the other day, but that's okay. Today he took an early nap, and Daisy was so excited to go get him when he woke up.

But really, "go get him" means "turn off his noise machine, give him a toy, and sing silly songs until Mommy comes."
Eventually I came to get Eli out of his crib, and Daisy was so excited to hold him! She is convinced that she can carry him around. Never  mind that he is almost half her weight.

Then Lily came in, and of course she wanted to be in the pictures, too. 
I asked the girls to give Eli a tiny kiss, and amazingly, they complied. Lily thought it was hilarious, though, and laughed and said, "tiny kiss!" over and over.

Tiny kiss!

I think Eli really enjoys all of the love from his sisters? Or maybe he just tolerates it. Who knows.

There's a lot of love in that chair!

Then Caleb came in, and he wanted to be in the pictures, too. But Lily wouldn't make room for him in the chair, so I tried to arrange them all on the floor...

Did you really think that would work? I don't know why I even tried. Lily was off and running.

Then we headed outside to play. Here's what Caleb collected today:
5 cicada shells and one deceased cicada,
box elder bugs swarming on our milkweed,
and the tiniest acorns you ever saw.

Lunch time! I earned my pay today.
Yep. That is applesauce all over her arms, face, hair, and tray. Yesterday, she smeared greasy pieces of rotisserie chicken in her hair. I am so thankful for our awesome new faucet and for my mom reminding me of the joys of washing children's hair in the sink. It sure makes cleanup a lot faster than a whole bath!

When the mail I found this card from Chris. I love the fox mama with three sleeping babies and one wide awake. I can't think of anything more appropriate! 

Eli and I sent Chris this selfie as a thank you.

Jenny came over to help with bedtime, but this time Eli had just woken from a nap. I let her play with him while I put the older three down. Eli was a stinker and didn't fall asleep until 9:30.

Four more days.

August 9

It is thunderstorming. Eli is screaming. The big kids are asleep and Lily and my mom are snuggled up in bed. 

Caleb and Daisy have figured out how to turn the TV on in the morning, find PBS kids, adjust the digital antenna, and watch their shows. It's great, except that I don't wake up as early. Normally I love that, but I was hoping to leave for church around 8:15 this morning, but I woke up at 8:04. Oops.

Eli did not sleep through the night. Not even close. But he did sleep in his crib for about 3 hours, so that's something.

We were 37 minutes late to church. When we got there, I realized that Eli had pooped during the drive, and it was a blowout. Great.
When I picked the kids up from their classes after church, I noticed that Lily had a poopy blowout, too. 
Daisy had 4 tantrums between church and Costco.

When we got home, I ended up sending her to bed at 12:30 and she napped for 4 hours. Girl needed it.

Here is Eli before what I thought was bedtime:


Except it wasn't bedtime, it was just a 30-minute nap. That was two and a half hours ago.

Since then, I have rocked him, snuggled him, nursed him, burped him, watched the thunderstrorm with him, worn him, done the dishes with him, said goodnight to the kids with him, nursed him again...
Babies are exhausting. It's a good thing he's so cute. But it's 9:00 and I'm done with everything else for the night, so we will be fine.

August 8

So last night, Eli didn't transfer to bed as seamlessly as I thought. 45 minutes later, he was wide awake. Mean baby. I finally got him back to sleep, but texted a friend to complain about how it seems impossible that he will ever sleep through the night. Then I went to bed.

At 6:21 this morning, I woke up and realized there was no baby in bed with me, and his monitor was quiet.
Oh no! Did I have it turned down too low? Did I sleep so deeply that I missed his cries?
No and no. 

People, my baby slept through the night. In his crib. Without me.

I got 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep for the first time in over six months. Praise the Lord!

Need proof? Here's what my Fitbit says:
Boom!

When he woke up, Eli was completely soaked from a diaper that wasn't supposed to be on him for 10 hours. I cleaned him up, brought him into my bed, nursed him, and...

He fell asleep again. Double BOOM!

While he napped, I fed the big kids, got them dressed, and made my grocery list. By the time Eli woke up an hour and a half later, his siblings were all ready to go and so excited to play with their baby brother!

These are my monkeys. Daisy is clearly stealing the show in this picture, but take a look at Lily and Eli back there. Lily has her foot and leg on the poor kid, and he is totally annoyed but doesn't realize he can complain about it. That's pretty much the story of his life!

There. All four of my goofballs.

I loaded them into the van, and we all headed to Trader Joes for groceries and some flowers for Gayle, whose birthday was yesterday. Oops. World's Best Daughter-in-Law I am not. Then I took the older three and the flowers over to Chris' parents house, where Dan and Gayle played with the big kids while Eli and I finished our grocery shopping. Gayle wanted to keep Eli, too, but I knew he was about ready for another nap.

He took that nap while I shopped, and I was even able to successfully transfer him to his car seat, where he continued to sleep. He was on a sleeping kick today! Since he was sleeping, I drove home, unloaded the groceries while Eli slept in the running van, and then went to pick up the big kids. By the time we got home, the headache I had all morning had morphed into a wicked migraine. I knew the kids needed lunch, but I could barely stand up, so I threw snack bars at them and stumbled into my room with Eli. As we lay there, I texted my mom and asked her to come help me.
That woman is a saint. 
She abandoned her plans and came over to help get Lily down for her nap and get me lunch and entertain Caleb so I could rest.
3 applications of essential oils, 1 dose of Tylenol, 1 prescription-level dose of Ibuprofren, and a dose of Excederin later, my migraine was gone. I was left with a profound appreciation for naps, ice packs, and my mother. 

With my headache taken care of, I threw on clothes and met Emily at the church we grew up attending for the visitation and memorial service for my dear friends' dad. He is gone too soon, and my heart breaks for my friends today. We weren't able to stay for the memorial service, though, so I headed home to relieve my mom so that she could visit with the family, too. 

Then I loaded my kids back in the van and went to a barbecue hosted by friends from our church small group. We had a great time, and when it was time to go, two of my four children were shirtless, and all were sweaty and happy. I call that a win. We raced home and I threw them all in the tub. Mom and Ryan arrived to help with bedtime, and Eli once again went right to sleep, then woke up 30 minutes later. As I type this, he is wrapped on my chest, sound asleep.

I am hoping and praying that last night wasn't a fluke, and that maybe he is learning how to sleep? Even more, I'm hoping and praying that his sleep the past 24 hours isn't due to some sort of sickness. I'm feeling optimistic about tonight, but I am also not expecting a repeat of last night's great sleep. We'll see!

August 7

Jenny came over to help with bedtime tonight, and as I type this she has been in with Lily for an hour. I just peeked my head into Lily's room, and I'm pretty sure that Lily is still awake, but Jenny is sound asleep. Too funny!

I wanted to take the kids on an adventure today, but they couldn't agree on where we would go. I wanted to have peace more than I wanted an adventure, so we stayed home. We did bring the toy stroller and shopping cart up from the basement, though, so the girls had a grand time playing pretend. Lily packed a bag with a toy camera, a toy phone, toy keys, and her wallet. She learns from the best! She tossed her bag on her arm and waved, "Bye-bye, Mommy!"
Where are you going, Lou?
Church!
Ok! Have fun!

As if that weren't cute enough, Lily also chose to wear this outfit for the first time today:
It's been hanging in her closet for a while, and I was afraid it wouldn't fit, but it fit perfectly! This was an outfit that my sisters and I wore when we were little, and it is just the sweetest thing ever. I'm pretty sure my older sister's nursery was decorated in a similar yellow gingham, wasn't it, Mom?

So.
Vintage + family heirloom + ponytail + pretend play = Lily is just too cute.

I also stumbled upon this selfie from yesterday. I know my face is the first thing you'll look at, and you'll wonder why I'm sharing it.
Then you'll look at sweet Eli and realize that I managed to catch him mid-spit up. Awesome. Just doing my job, documenting things for posterity here.

Eli was not cooperative about bedtime, so I decided to do what I do best, and wear that baby. 
Kid didn't even last fifteen minutes and he was out cold. I wore him a bit longer just to make sure, then transferred him to his crib, easy peasy. Babywearing FTW!

(and Lily is still talking in her room. I wonder if I should go wake Jenny up?)

August 6

Remember how awful the night before last was? 
Well. Last night, I didn't hear a peep from Lily all night long. It was amazing! Eli was pretty high-needs, but he was in bed with me and as long as I'm lying down I like to pretend that it doesn't count. So whatever.
But Lily slept through the night, and even pretty late this morning. Around 9am, I started to get concerned because she never sleeps that late. So I peeked in to check on her, and the girl was sound asleep in piles of her own vomit. It looked like she had puked at least twice, early on in the night, then rolled around in it all night long. It was awful. She puked three more times today, and I am currently praying that it's over and I don't go into her room in the morning to find more vomit and more laundry to wash. My poor girl.

I had hoped to take a trip to Target this morning to buy Caleb a new backpack and shoes, but that didn't happen. Luckily, my sweet mom only worked a half day today. She came over around three to stay with the sleeping little ones so that Caleb and I could go shopping. Caleb and I had a great time - stopped in at Panera to get him a treat and some coffee for me, found the perfect backpack, and found some okay running shoes that were cheap, if not perfect. I enjoyed having one-on-one time with my little man, and we talked about how he was feeling nervous about the school year because he was afraid to see a little boy who was his "enemy". As we talked, Caleb explained that the boy was a "former friend" who told Caleb he was annoying and was mean to him. So Caleb and I discussed that the boy might not even be in his class, that the boy might be jealous of him, and that he always needed to tell grownups when another kid was being mean to him. My poor boy.

We returned home to find everyone happy. Mom stayed through dinner, and handled things when Lily puked yet again. I am so, so thankful to have her help while Chris is gone!

She gave all the kids baths, including this happy boy:
 Lily refused to take a bath (which was fair, since I already gave her a bath in the morning to wash all the puke off), but allowed my mom to wash her hair in the kitchen sink. Afterwards, she said, "Thank you Mawmaw wash hair!" Poor girl. I tended to Eli while my mom read to the big kids, and came out to find this: 
Lily, asleep on the floor, with her head partially under the couch while my mom read to Caleb and Daisy. Poor girl.

Eli refused to sleep, so I wrapped him on my back. Mom took a few pictures of the process with her phone.


She got a few blurry ones of him grinning as I wrapped him up; one of the things I love most about wrapping my babies is how much they love it, too!

I don't know if it was the half caf coffee I had with dinner or what, but Eli refused to sleep tonight. I finally got him to sleep around 9:45. Before Mom left, she took this picture of my happy boy while I worked on the computer. This is life, friends. It is hectic, messy, and entirely dependent on the help and goodwill of others. Join me in praying that Lily wakes up fully restored tomorrow? I'm ready for some easy stuff to come my way!

August 5

Man, I was on top of things last night. After two sleepless nights in a row, I was determined to get a good night's sleep. I was in bed, ready to sleep by 9:45. Boo-yah!
Unfortunately, my children had other plans.

Eli woke up at 10:00, and decided to be wide awake for the next two hours. He finally fell asleep a little before midnight as I laid in bed with him on my chest.
At 1:03, Lily woke up. Poopy diaper. That never happens. I changed her diaper, snuggled her, and went back to bed. She screamed for 20 minutes.
At 2:12, I thought I heard someone knocking at our door. I peeked out my window, but saw nothing. Then I realized the knocking was Lily, pounding on her bedroom wall. I went in, snuggled and sang her a song, and left. She screamed for 5 minutes.
At 2:45, Eli woke up. He was hungry. I nursed him back to sleep.
At 3:15, Lily started screaming, "Water! WAAAATTTER!" 
I got her a cup of water, mumbled some not-very-kind things to her, and went back to bed.
At 6:08, I woke to hear Daisy and Caleb shouting about being Jedi masters. Really. I went in, told them that they were to be absolutely silent until the clock turned green at 6:30, and then they could watch PBS kids. I left the room, set up the TV and put out some frozen muffins, and went back to bed.
At 7:38, Lily was up for the day, and so was I.

I am so tired.

Luckily, I got an email that Panera is giving me one free cup of coffee every day for the month of August. Unluckily, there are no drive-through Paneras near me. Still, I wanted my coffee, so we left for our chiropractor appointment a few minutes early and stopped by our closest Panera. I gave the kids a talking-to beforehand: we are only getting coffee, we are not getting anything else, don't even ask, blah, blah, blah. And you know what? They were great. My little ducklings followed me into the store, waited patiently in line, and followed me out again. No complaining, no begging.
Sometimes these kids of mine are just fabulous.

After the chiropractor, we stopped at the library for some new books, then headed home for lunch and naps. While the little ones napped, Gayle came to take Caleb for their weekly date. Caleb so looks forward to his special time with Grandmother each week. I'm pretty sure Wednesday is his favorite day of the week!

While they were gone and the little ones (blessedly) slept, I got dinner ready, then decided to scrub my kitchen floor. I know I haven't scrubbed that floor since... um... since... before Eli was born? It's awful to admit, but true. I think Chris has cleaned it a few times, though. So there's that. But now, my friends, it is sparkly and clean. Eli is just so mobile now that I know he'll be crawling in a few months. I need to get in the habit of keeping my floors clean, asap!

Caleb and Gayle returned just as the girls were waking from their naps. Gayle brought over this vintage wool bonnet, which the girls immediately loved:
Isn't she precious? I think we have the perfect coat to go with it, for a lovely late-fall photo shoot.

I had the kids in their jammies by 6 pm, and we had all climbed into my big bed when Chris called. The best thing about our iPhones is being able to FaceTime with him while he's gone. The kids bickered over whose turn it was to hold the phone, but they were so happy to see and talk to their Daddy.

So sweet.

Kissing the phone.
They also showed him all of their new library books and told him about their days. This is the fourth day that he's been gone, and I'm definitely ready for him to be home. Only 9 more days.

Even Eli was happy to see Daddy on the phone. I didn't know what to expect at first, but he definitely recognizes and responds to Chris on the phone. It's pretty cute.

This is my little circus!

August 4

It was a rough day. Rough. Caleb made lots of bad choices, Lily and Eli napped poorly, and Daisy was just... Daisy. At least we spent the morning at the Garden. It's crazy that we only have one more Tuesday to spend there before school starts!

The kids discovered this little fountain the last time we were at the Garden, and their new favorite thing is reaching in and pulling out other people's pennies. They love it so much that I don't know how to break it to them that it's bad form to steal people's wishes.
(and I'm pretty sure Lily is eating from her bag of koi fish food.)

We discovered this fountain - in all the time we've been coming to the Garden, I can't remember the water being turned on. The kids were appropriately excited.

They were also entertained by this building with mirrored windows. I took a selfie.They were only moderately cooperative. Story of my life.

Eli took a nice little wrap nap, though.

And when we finally made it to the splash pad, we were delighted to find that my friend Amber and her boys, Andrew and Dean, were there, too.
(I'm pretty sure Caleb is holding his nose in this picture because Drew just accidentally bonked it with his head. Caleb ended up with a bloody nose. Fun times.)

Amber sent me these (much better) pictures of our boys playing, pre-bloody nose. I can't wait for Dean and Eli to be big enough to join in the fun. They will be such good friends!