January 8

After a couple of stressful days, I decided that today we should stick close to home and keep a low profile. The day started out well; after breakfast, I got all three big kids started on an art project. While they worked, Eli and I put away all of the Christmas decorations. It was pretty perfect.

The kids practiced their sharing language (I even heard Lily say, "When you finish dat, I have turn?") and worked happily on their chalk snow scenes.

I know. Mom of the Year Right here.

And then, in the blink of an eye, everything disintegrated. I spent the next two hours annoyed and frustrated while the kids seemed to do just about everything wrong. I tried to keep my cool, but when I saw that Lily had climbed up on a chair, filled two cups of water from the refrigerator, and then spilled that water all over the papers on my computer desk and the floor - WHILE CALEB AND DAISY WERE SITTING AT THE COMPUTER!!! - I lost it. I was out of the room for two minutes, taking Christmas things to the basement. When I left, the girls were happily watching Caleb play DreamBox. When I came back, Lily was a sopping mess and Caleb and Daisy were oblivious.

Really?

Maybe I'm expecting too much of my kids, but lately my frustration with them is that they aren't watching out for each other. My goal is for them to be a team: to encourage each other to make good choices, to warn one another when they think something is going awry, to help and share... But lately they seem to have an "Every man for himself" attitude. 

Perhaps my expectations need adjusting, because things aren't going well right now.

While Lily stood in a puddle (at least it was water and not urine!) and Caleb and Daisy stared at the computer, Eli was so tired that he was literally crawling around the house, crying. So that was when I lost it. I sent the big three to their rooms while I put Eli down for his nap, and then I fed them lunch and sent them to bed. It was not pleasant.

After naps, however, it was much more pleasant. Eli was the first to wake up, and he and Caleb had some quality time.

Boy was hungry. Food made him happy! 

While I got dinner ready, Caleb fed Eli yogurt melts and made him laugh. It was sweet. Then Caleb asked if he could take a few pictures of Eli. 

Sure, kiddo! 

He was really pleased with his work, so I didn't crop or alter it in any way.

It was nice enough outside that as soon as the girls woke up, we all went to play in the back yard. All of the kids were so happy!

I promise I did not let Lily wear her pajamas all day. She wore these to bed last night, then got dressed this morning, then sometime later in the morning decided to put her jammies back on. She loves them that much. 

She also loves being pulled around by her brother in a found wagon.

Eli, meanwhile, was in his happy zone. Outside, swinging, with a ball. He just laughed and laughed!

January 7

You guys. 

I am exhausted.

I am also angry. A lot. 

I think it has much to do with my body's fluctuating progesterone levels, but it is similar enough to how my postpartum depression started off that I am concerned. I'm hoping it will resolve itself in a few days, but in the meantime, things are kind of touchy around here. My fuse is short, and the kids are suffering. Mornings when we have to be somewhere are especially challenging. Like preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and the new PE class on Wednesdays. But I am giving myself grace, acknowledging that it can only get better, and apologizing to the kids a lot. I'm hopeful this will pass.

Today was a MOPS and preschool day, so the morning was hectic. Eli was up at 5:30, and so he was ready for his morning nap by 7:30. That actually worked out well - he was rested and ready to go when it was time to leave at 8:45. The kids enjoyed MOPS, I enjoyed time to sit and chat with my friends, and Lily used the big potty and kept her pants dry away from home. So hooray! (Except for the part where she had an accident in her car seat while we were on the highway, driving home from MOPS. That was fun.Thank God I splurged on a waterproof car seat pad when Daisy was potty training!)

We got home from MOPS and Eli promptly went down for a 3+ hour nap. Once the girls were down, Caleb and I did some school. I took a fabulous picture of Caleb, but he asked me not to share it. He was pretty out of whack today, too: whiny, easily discouraged, generally unpleasant. I am ready for the weekend.

When Eli finally woke up from the nap, he just wanted to be held. Luckily, I was able to distract him with the drawer of kids' cups and dishes while I finished dinner.

See? Not happy.

Then I showed him the drawer.

"Hmmm....what is this? What can I grab? What treasures are these?"

(WHOA! LOOK AT MY BABY STANDING!!!)

 

Got it!

And then he was distracted.

Unrelated: Chris took Caleb to a free Lego mini-build last night at the Lego store, and Caleb came home with this polar bear. 

Today he tried to give me the polar bear, and I tried to tell him no. I mean, what do I need with one more thing cluttering everything? Especially a Lego thing, which we all know I love in theory and hate in reality.

But then I realized that he was trying to give me a gift, so I accepted the polar bear and gave it a story. His name is Po' the Polar Bear (or maybe Poe. Does spelling matter?) and he sits in my kitchen window and says encouraging things to me as I cook. Po' always likes my cooking, always thinks I'm beautiful, and laughs at all of my jokes. He also appreciates my dance moves and singing when I break it down to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" in the middle of the kitchen.

Po' also likes to say encouraging things to the children when they are clearly feeling frustrated. I think he will be a good addition to my kitchen clutter.

January 6

Day 2 of homeschooling was... ugh. Not great. Mostly it was due to the fact that I signed Caleb up for a "Homeschool Swim and Fitness" class at our YMCA. It's 45 minutes of swimming and 45 minutes of games in the gym. I thought it would be a good way for him to be active, get swimming practice, and interact with peers. The problem: the class is from 10:15-noon.

Can anyone say "naptime"?

Eli was due for his morning nap around 9:00, but to get Caleb to the class on time, we needed to leave the house around 9:45. Eli didn't get a morning nap. I got all four kids ready, drove to the Y, got them all down to the locker room, got everyone undressed down to swimsuits, and took Caleb out there. While he did the swimming part, the little ones and I played in the pool. 

Note: taking a 4 year old, 2 year old, and almost 1 year old swimming by yourself is exhausting.

When Caleb was done, we all headed into the locker room, where I got everyone changed into real clothes, then loaded everything up and took Caleb to the gym for games.

Like herding cats, people.

And the kicker?

There's only one other kid in his class. So much for peer interaction.

Still, the only other swim lessons our Y offers are in the evening or on Saturdays, which is family time I don't want to sacrifice. So we will make this work. But goodness, it was hard!

It was fun, though.

Eli may have been exhausted, but he loves the water! 

My plan was to check the kiddos into childcare while Caleb played in the gym, so that I could work out. It didn't happen. Maybe next week. I'm sure once we figure out a routine, it will be much better. Or really, once the kids figure out the routine.

Eli fell asleep almost as soon as I got him buckled in his car seat. However, he didn't transfer to his crib, so the afternoon was pretty awful. Still, Caleb and I did school and things were okay.

Nap or not, Eli seems to be feeling much better. He still has a snotty nose, but he is much happier and less miserable than he has been the past few days.

I'll take it!

January 5

Well, our first day of homeschooling is in the books. Daisy had preschool today, so we still had to leave the house to drop her off and pick her up. I'll admit; it is weird taking Daisy to preschool and not taking Caleb to school. If I had my way, I would be homeschooling Daisy, too. But she really likes preschool and she isn't on board with homeschooling yet. I am hopeful that she will come around, though, because it was a real hassle to interrupt what we were doing to load everyone into the van for drop-off and pickup. However, the benefit was that when Eli went down for his nap, I had two solid hours with just Caleb and Lily, which was fabulous.

It was a chaotic day, an exhausting day, a fun day, and a frustrating day. I think that once we find our groove, it is going to be phenomenal. I just hope we find our groove before the novelty wears off.

Today we really enjoyed beginning The Story of the World: Volume 2. I think we spent a solid hour learning about the Roman Empire and various activities? I'm excited to see how we build on it tomorrow, and I love that we can just roll with something if it interests Caleb.

The best part was that as Caleb worked on a map of the Roman Empire, Miss Lily decided she wanted to do it, too. She asked for her own sheet of paper and got to work coloring and even cutting! It was just adorable.

Working on his map. 

Working on hers.

This makes my heart happy. The only thing that could have made it better would be if that cup of coffee front and center had been hot. But it wasn't, and I never finished it.

 We also started Life of Fred (Caleb was not a fan, but I think it will win him over), did some DreamBox, did an art project that Caleb dreamed up himself, and then spent over an hour writing when the art project turned into a story that he was really excited to tell. And books. We read lots of books. 

It's funny how I have to turn off the "teacher" that is so deeply embedded in me, because homeschooling my one child is absolutely different from teaching a class of 32 students.  I feel disappointed because today was chaotic, we didn't cover every single subject, and I'm not entirely sure what I'll do tomorrow.

But I love the fact that our schedule can be more relaxed, that we can do two hours worth of science another day, and that I can tell from talking to Caleb that he really absorbed some of the stuff we covered today.

I think that as we find our groove, I will come up with a schedule of sorts, or at least a routine. I am definitely looking forward to feeling like I have a plan, instead of just like I'm flying by the seat of my pants.

I think Caleb really enjoyed today; I am curious how it will be when we hit something that is tough for him. Perseverance is not his strong suit, and building grit and determination is one of my major goals for him. But building and growing is hard work. Hopefully it will be easier for him with his family by his side, encouraging him every step of the way. 

Also growing and developing? Eli. I noticed today that he is sitting up on his knees more, pulling up more, and very interested in trying to stand.

Look how interested he is in the book Chris is reading!

You know he saw me, stopped what he was doing, and crawled over to say hi. Then he crawled back to Daddy and the book.

A huge benefit of having Caleb home is watching his relationship with Eli blossom. Today while the girls finished their naps, Caleb and Eli spent some quality time playing in Eli's room. We often call Caleb "Bubby" (a hybrid of "brother" and "Cay-bub", which is how every toddler starts out saying Caleb's name), and today Eli actually started saying "Bubba" as he crawled over to Caleb and planted slobbery baby kisses all over Caleb's face. It was a fabulous moment, and I am so thankful for it.

But for now, it's time for Daddy to read again.

So. Day 1. I am exhausted, but eager to do it again. I am praying that the Daisy factor doesn't mess up our rhythm; she has a strong personality, and if she doesn't like something, she can easily ruin it for everyone. I sure hope she buys in to what we're doing!

January 4

Real life began again today. Chris went back to work, and I thought we would begin homeschooling today. But then I realized that our school district didn't have school today, so I figured we would have a light day. 

Lily woke up this morning with a dry diaper (a HUGE potty training victory!), but didn't want to use the potty. She screamed and cried as she sat on it, and Eli was very concerned.

He crawled right over to her and wanted to play with the book she was "reading". It was so very sweet! Of course, it didn't last long enough for me to get my camera settings right. Hence the grainy photo.

Eli heard my camera shutter click, noticed I was sitting on the ground, and immediately stopped what he was doing and crawled toward me. 

It literally happens every time I sit down. The boy must really love his mama!

Later, after I put Eli down for an early first nap, Caleb was reading book while he ate his breakfast. Lily noticed and sidled up next to him. "Whatchyou doin'?"

He wrapped his arm around his baby sister's waist and began reading to her. Soon Daisy joined in, too, and it was the sweetest thing. 

Goodness, I love these kids. I sure don't love the runny noses, though!

Hi cuties!

While Eli napped, I let the kids play and I researched lesson plans and curricula for homeschooling. When Eli woke up, I loaded all of the kids in the van and we drove to a library that specifically caters to Christian, homeschooling families. I borrowed several books and perused their consignment curriculum. 

It was all very helpful and informative. While I looked around, the kids enjoyed the play area. 

This poor kid is still miserable from his cold, but that didn't stop him from exploring!

Caleb and Lily enjoyed the train table,

Eli tried to figure out the beads,

And Daisy colored a Baby Jesus coloring sheet.

On our way home, we stopped and visited with Jenny at her restaurant for lunch. The little ones went down for naps as soon as we got home, and Caleb and I spent some time working on handwriting and spelling. He was willing and eager to do everything! I had a list of about 50 "accountable words" - words his school expected kindergartners and first graders to know. Caleb wrote all of them without complaining, corrected his handwriting as he went, and only misspelled two! His handwriting and fine motor skills are a major concern for me, so I was very proud that he spent nearly an hour working at it without complaining. 

I rewarded him with some mini-marshmallows and sent him to jump on the trampoline. Real homeschooling starts tomorrow!

January 3

Poor Eli is miserable. He has the worst cold, and he is clearly suffering. Last night he slept in his crib from 8:30 to 11:30, and then he was awake, fussing and crying, from 11:30 until 2:50, when Chris finally got up with him and held him in the recliner in his room. They sat that way for two hours, and when Chris brought Eli back to our bed, he fussed for another hour.

Kid is miserable.

Lily is pretty sick, too, so I stayed home with the little two while Chris took the older two to church and Costco. When they got home, I ran to Target, and I got home just as my mom arrived to watch the kids so that Chris and I could go out to our rental house. Our current tenants are purchasing a home, so we went out to inspect the house and show it to a prospective new tenant.

We got home to find Mom struggling to keep Eli happy because he would only nap when he was being held, and then just barely. Have I mentioned he's miserable?

We were able to temporarily distract him with cars, or balls, or Caleb's antics, but eventually he remembered that he was miserable and began crying again.

Caleb was outside, playing his current favorite game: Ice Harvesting. Eli thought it was awesome.

Then he remembered he was sick.

Look at that face. It's puffy, his eyes are red and goopy, his nose is snotty... I'd be crying, too.

But then Caleb smashed a big chunk of ice, and Eli was distracted again. 

I'm praying he gets a good night's sleep; Chris goes back to work in the morning!

January 2

Today was very full. This morning, both of my sisters came over (separately) so that I could take pictures of them. I have made each of my children a photo book of family members for their first birthday, and I am trying my best to collect recent, high-quality images for Eli's book. You know, because he turns one at the end of the month. I really intended to take pictures at Thanksgiving, and then I wanted to do them at Christmas, but somehow it just never worked out. So now I'm scrambling. I managed to get Sally's picture at Christmas, and today I got Jenny and Emily and the boys; now I just need pictures of my parents and Chris' parents. Oh, and us. So I'm not even remotely done. But I loved taking pictures of my sisters and nephews this morning!

Aren't they handsome? Ryan will be 18 in a few days, Max is almost five and a half, and Jace is just a few days younger than Lily.

Jace looks so much like his Daddy and his Grandma Lisa!

Max looks just like Emily.

And Ryan? After going through a period where he looked just like his dad, then a time where he looked like his mom, Ryan has grown into his own man. I can't believe he is almost 18!

After they left, we put the little ones down for naps and Chris took Caleb ice skating. Our friends Amber and Michael and their family were going near our house, and invited us to join them. We were initially hoping that maybe I could go too, and we could wiggle nap time around a little bit, but that didn't pan out. So instead, Chris took Caleb, I stayed home with the little ones, and Amber kindly shared these pictures she took:

Why did Chris go? 

Well, he used to play ice hockey. He loves to skate, and really enjoys sharing that with our kids.

There are Michael and his brother Chris, who my Chris has known since adolescence. I remember tales of their teenage hijinks; now they are holding their children's hands while they learn to ice skate. It is adorable.

Chris reported that Caleb was very brave, and didn't get discouraged or give up when he fell.

Caleb came home and proudly reported, "Mommy, I have a new favorite sport: ICE SKATING."

I love it! 

(As long as he doesn't want to play hockey.)

As soon as the boys got home, we immediately loaded everyone in the van to go celebrate Ryan's 18th birthday. We ate dinner at Chili's, then went to my parents' house for cake and presents.

Eli was exhausted, but he made a beeline for the tree. 

Can you believe Emily has an 18-year-old?

Lily rocked the potty training tonight, and even used the big potty at the restaurant and a Grandma and Grandpa's house. But then she had to poop, and once again she had an accident. Oh well. We'll get there, little one. I think I'll stop reporting on potty training after today, because we seem to have reached a plateau. I will report next when we have a new victory.

Peek-a-boo, Jace! I see you!

Eli with his ball and his Grandma. That is one happy kid.

January 1

2015 turned out to be my most prolific blogging year yet: I wrote 363 blog posts, which is pretty impressive considering I was also dealing with a premature baby, mastitis, breastfeeding issues, a broken leg, and postpartum depression.

Last year was full of the really great, the terribly awful, and a whole bunch of in the middle. But then, I suppose every year is like that. Despite the circumstances we endured last year, God remained faithful, and I am thankful.

I woke up this morning to find this:

Caleb was reading a library book to Daisy. It made my heart flutter.

Caleb and I have set a goal of hugging six times each day in 2016. I feel like it is a very worthy goal.

I know we did something today, but for the life of me I don't know what it is.

Chris took Caleb outside to fly his remote control helicopter. I suggested that Eli might like to be outside, too, so Chris put him in the Ergo and wrapped his hoodie around him.

Eli was happy, but Lily nearly lost it when she saw that Eli was riding in her Ergo!

(Actually, she called it "Daddy's Ergo", which I thought was funny. But she's right: Chris is the one who uses it, while I prefer the wraps and ring slings.)

Also, this happened at 4:30.

Caleb is still in his pajamas.

It's Christmas break, so I'm trying not to feel too guilty.

Look at that helicopter go! You can't tell in the picture, but Eli was trying to hard to crane his neck to see it! He was fascinated.

Meanwhile, Lily was just mad that she wasn't in Daddy's Ergo.