February 29

Today was awful.

Unquestionably awful.

I was all ready for a Do-Nothing Monday; I even told the kids they could keep their jammies on, because we would only be doing school and nothing today. My first inkling that it was going to be a terrible day was after breakfast, when I went to change Eli's diaper and get him dressed for the day. I took his diaper off, and found that he was poopy. No big deal, except that I opened the  drawer to get a new cloth diaper... and it was empty. 

So, grumbling the whole way about how the person who uses the last diaper should bring up the clean diapers, or at least warn the other person, I took my naked baby into the living room and set him down to play while I went to the basement and gathered all of the clean diapers from the clothes line and dryer.

Aww... cute naked baby!

Oh, look... cute naked baby (with two darling little teeth!) laughing with his brother! I love how much they love each other!

Seriously. I can't get enough of squishy, creamy baby skin.

Oh, look. You can see where Eli bit the couch and slobbered all over it. I'm telling you, the kid is anxious to try out those new teeth!

Caleb got new jammies, and he calls himself "Speed Man" when he wears them. They go best with the orange socks, obviously.

Also, I have to share this picture just so you can see the awesomeness that is Lily's hair. It is an unbrushed rat's nest from sleep, and then she had applesauce for breakfast and dipped some of her hair in the applesauce, so I gave her a headband to hold her hair back, and she ended up looking like that.

It was right about this time that I discovered that the cute naked baby had actually pooped - again- while he was being cute and naked. And of course he stepped in it. And possibly sat in it. So now there was poop on the floor, poop on his foot, and poop on his cute naked baby leg.
I already hated this day.

Luckily, Eli woke up at 6:30 this morning, so he was ready for his morning nap by 9:30. Except that when I went to put him down, he only wanted to be held. For an hour, I held and rocked and nursed that baby, and he was sound asleep - as long as I held him. When I laid him in his crib, he screamed and screamed, which is really atypical for him.

Finally, I knew I was about to lose it. I could feel myself on the verge of becoming Angry Mom. I don't know why, but babies who won't nap when they need to nap or are supposed to nap are my main trigger. 

So I quit. Checked the weather forecast, and decided that we were going to the Garden today. I threw together lunch for the kids, loaded everyone in the van, and we were off.

I thought for sure this kid would fall asleep in the van on the way to the Garden.

He didn't. 

I thought he would definitely fall asleep if I wore him on my back in the Garden.

He wouldn't. 

He didn't even fall asleep in the van on the way home at 1:30. The child is defective.

But look at sweet Daisy and her dimple. 

And there! All four of my duckies, in a picture with me! And almost all of them are looking at the camera and smiling! They were really happy to be at the Garden, and the sunshine and fresh air did wonders for my grouchiness.

Pretending they're kings and queens, surveying their kingdom.

The sheep! I'm pretty sure this was Eli's first time on a sheep all by himself, and I am confident it is the first of many, MANY pictures of all four kids on the sheep.

You can't tell in this picture, but Eli thought he was pretty hot stuff, sitting on that sheep. I just wanted him to hold on to the sheep's ears/handles, but he wasn't interested. I was pretty terrified that he was about to fall off, but he balanced nicely. (Don't worry, Mom. He wasn't hurt.)

We also stopped for a photo at the entrance to the Chinese Garden. Caleb thought they looked like guards, protecting the garden.

We got home from the garden late, but the girls went down for their naps quickly. I set Caleb to work with math, and put Eli down for his nap. When I came out, I drank tea with Caleb while he finished his math, and then he regaled me with the story of his favorite Lego mini figure's latest adventure.

And then I got a brilliant idea: writing is Caleb's least-favorite thing to do. He hates it. But what if he had a book where he could write down all of the stories he comes up with for Emerald Haroldson? (Yes, that's the mini figure's name.)

It would have to be a special, dedicated notebook, though, where he could write down his stories, a day at a time. Caleb loved the idea, so I found him a notebook. Then we took Emerald Haroldson outside for a photo shoot; I told Caleb I would print a picture for the cover of the book.

I am particularly fond of this image.

And then Eli woke up screaming, so I asked Caleb to get to work writing his first story while I got Eli back down. Except Eli didn't go back down, and Caleb didn't do any writing, and then I seriously lost it. It was ugly, and involved more yelling than I'd like to admit.

And then Chris came home from work late.

I didn't have time to make the dinner I had planned, I didn't have the emotional energy to interact with any of my kids, and I was done. So I pulled out my headphones, put on an audio book, and threw together a quick dinner. Luckily, the kids all ate their tacos or burritos quickly and with gusto, because I would have exploded if they acted the way they did at dinner last night. I think they knew not to push me.

As soon as dinner was over, I threw on my workout clothes and went to the gym. I needed out.

I came home to freshly-bathed children and girls in matching jammies. Except that Lily was screaming and crying because Daisy had stolen her binoculars, but Daisy insisted she didn't steal them. I have found that Lily's tantrums are usually eased when I listen to her, give names to her feelings, and validate her feelings. So that's what I did, and then she was fine. 

And then, without any prompting, Daisy gave the binoculars to Lily. I praised Daisy until she was ready to burst, and then the girls were best friends. Daisy desperately wanted a hug and a picture with Lily.

Lily barely complied.

And now they're in bed. Thank God.

February 28

I have no cohesive narrative for today's post; it is just a jumble of random pictures.

Last night, Chris went out to our rental home to begin preparing it for a new tenant. While he was gone, the kids and I watched cat videos on America's Funniest Home Videos' Facebook page.

Even Eli wanted in on the cat video action, which was really cute. (Please ignore the chaotic mess in the background. It's just how we roll.)

What? You want to see the cat video?  I think you can click here to watch it for yourself Cats Leap for Leap Year It's definitely worth the minute or so it takes to watch.

Also yesterday, I got my early Mother's Day/late birthday gift in the mail.

I have had this necklace for a long time now; it has a disc for each child with their name on one side, and the meaning of their name on the other side. Now I've added that little pearl to it, except it's not actually a pearl. It is my breast milk, professionally preserved in resin. 

I know - it's kind of weird. At first I thought the whole concept of breast milk jewelry was tacky and gross, but now that the end of my breastfeeding journey is drawing closer and closer, I am feeling sentimental. I hope to nurse Eli until he is two, but then I will close the door on nearly seven years of almost continuous breastfeeding. It's a lot, and it has become a defining part of who I am. I have fought to nurse my babies, I have cherished nursing my babies, I have shared my milk with other babies. It matters to me. 

So yes, I will add a little pearl of it to my mommy necklace. No one else will know what it is, but I will know, and I will cherish it.

On to today. It was our turn to serve in the church nursery today, except that they have switched things up and now babies and toddlers are combined in a big kid classroom. That meant that this happened:

Yep. That is Eli, sitting in a chair, eating Cheerios out of a snack cup.

He looks like such a big boy, doesn't he!

Luckily, he isn't really such a big boy. He needed help to get in that chair, and was totally not ready to actually sit there. But it was fun for a moment!

We stopped at my parents' house for lunch on the way home, and then it was nap time. While I enjoyed this:

(Nursing, rocking, snuggling, asleep in my arms)

Chris and Caleb were doing this:

Yep! Caleb finally learned to ride his bike without training wheels! He's been ready to do it for at least a year now, but he was too scared. Today, Chris and I decided that he might just need a little push outside of his comfort zone. But then when I talked to Caleb about it, he freaked out. He was really scared. We watched a few videos about it on YouTube (including this long but adorable one, narrated by an awesome four-year-old girl!), but he was still freaked out. I talked to Caleb some more, and finally found a solution: he would feel more comfortable and willing to try it if he had knee pads, elbow pads, and hand/wrist pads.
Done.
I googled it, found some at Target, and sent my boys off in search of pads.

And that, my friends, was all it took. Caleb can now ride his bike without training wheels!
(Of course, the bike is looking pretty small for him now. I'm hoping we can extend the seat a little bit more until he grows into the bigger bike we have waiting for him in the basement.)

All in all, a great day!

February 26

Sometimes, I will be working in the kitchen and Eli will be playing at my feet. And then suddenly I look up and realize he is no longer there. Almost always, I find him here:

Usually he is standing up at the Lego table, right next to Caleb, fiddling with the Legos. Caleb is remarkably patient about Eli messing with his stuff, and Eli loves to be where Caleb is. It's pretty sweet.

Caleb and Daisy had gymnastics today, and Lily was the first person ready to go. She knew exactly what she wanted to wear: her leotard and tights, with black boots. (She had her pink boots on first, but then she decided she liked the black better.) I helped her get dressed, then turned my attention to getting the other children ready. 

As I asked Daisy to put on her shoes for the fourth time, Lily walked in and declared, "I ready!"

And you know what? She totally was. 

I mean, really. This girl is something. She got her coat (a new Target clearance purchase that I intended to save for next winter, but she fell in love right away and wouldn't let me put it away) and found her sunglasses and she knew she looked good.

Goodness, that girl makes me giggle.

Do you see the shadow on the wall/baseboard behind Lily? That is Eli's shadow, because he crawled down the hall to where we were trying to take this picture. As soon as I crouched down to get a better angle of Lily, this happened: 

This child. I really think that babies this age are like puppies. Rolly, adorable, affectionate, follow you everywhere, chew on everything, not house trained...

Eli lately has started throwing his arms up in the air the moment I come within four feet of him. I know every baby does it, but I love the visible reminder that he just wants to be with me and be held by me. Sometimes I think it is obnoxious that he prefers me over everyone else and that he always wants to be held, but then I remember that this stage will end soon, and I should enjoy all the snuggles he will give me.

And watching him throw his little arms up as he silently implores me to pick him up? So sweet.

In this picture, you can see his two little teeth. It took a year and a week for them to come in, and he has no other teeth in sight, but still. They are fabulous little teeth! However, he is now learning that he can use them for biting, and they are sharp! We haven't had any biting-while-nursing issues yet, but he has bitten my arm and my face and my nose and my finger and my sweater... It's a good thing he's so cute!

February 24

Today was my 35th birthday, and it was fabulous. Yesterday was awful and I was feeling really sorry for myself, but today I felt so loved and cared for. It was just what I needed!

I woke up to a snowy winter wonderland, with "snowflakes the size of hamsters". Our local school district called off school, which meant that Caleb's speech therapy today was cancelled. The YMCA was still open, though, so his swim and fitness class was still on. 

Chris took the day off work, and he was diligent about ensuring that I didn't have to cook a single meal today. This morning, he and Daisy went off through the snow to get me breakfast from First Watch, as well as my favorite coffee from Panera Bread. While they were gone, I pulled Caleb, Lily, and Eli into bed with me. They watched TV while I snoozed, and it was lovely.

Breakfast! (I totally ate that English muffin. It was my birthday splurge.)

Chris came with us to the YMCA for Caleb's class, and he swam with the little ones while I worked out. Then I took the little ones home for lunch and naps, while Caleb finished his class and Chris exercised. I love Caleb's swim and fitness class, but it is really a challenge for the little ones to be away from home so close to lunch and naptime. Today was so nice, because I was able to tend to Eli's needs!

On their way home, the boys picked up some crab cakes for me from another one of my favorite restaurants. Chris snarfed down some lunch, then headed out to our local appliance parts store to get the part necessary to fix the oven.

He was home when Eli woke up, and he snuggled him while I showered and got dressed.

Sweet baby.

 Sweet Daddy.

Eli loves snuggling with his Daddy!

In no time at all, Chris was able to fix the oven. Just over a year ago, he replaced the igniter. Somehow, it stopped working again, and the guy at the appliance store confirmed that it was non-functional. He gave Chris a nice discount on the new one, and Chris was able to replace it pretty quickly.

Then, Caleb and I got to work on some gluten-free, dairy free cakes for my birthday.

Can you believe what a big boy he is?

We finished making everything just in time to join my family at a nearby Mexican restaurant.

Nothing says "Happy Birthday!" like a margarita the size of my head.

Also, sharing a margarita with my sisters is the best thing ever.

Then the workers brought out a sombrero and tequila shot and sang Happy Birthday to me. Lily was excited to help me celebrate.

My family joined us at home for dessert. 

Lily helped Chris make the coffee.

We hat chocolate cake and cupcakes, with coconut whipped topping, whipped cream, ice cream, buttercream frosting, and fresh berries.  It was good that we had all of those toppings, because the gluten-free, dairy-free treats were... less than perfect. However, once you smothered them in creams and berries, they were quite passable.

Happy birthday to me! I love that Eli is transfixed by the flame, and Lily is covering her ears. Apparently the birthday song is too much for her?

*poof* 

And like that, I am officially thirty five.

Eli may not have actually been transfixed by the flame. It may have actually been the cupcakes that captured his attention, because once I blew the candles out, he was desperate to have one.

Lily was pretty excited, too.

I have no idea what is up with Daisy. It's funny, though, that as soon as we got home, she changed right into her jammies. Maybe she was just ready for bed.

And Caleb was eager to sample the cake he worked hard to bake.

It was a perfect little celebration; low-key, stress-free, full of happy little moments watching my kids love on family members and play with their cousins. I couldn't ask for more. I think 35 will be my best year yet!

February 23

Today was awful.

Just awful.

It left me ready to quit homeschooling, quit parenting, quit everything.

The children were out of control, they all had snotty noses, and I was an awful mom.

Then my oven died. 

My birthday is tomorrow, and I have been moping about the fact that there are no good dairy-free, gluten-free birthday cake options for me. I finally found a recipe I thought would be satisfactory, bought the ingredients last night, and this afternoon was supposed to be my time to bake the cake. Except my afternoon really should have been filled with homeschooling, but I was going to bake the cake anyway.

And then the oven died. 

I was so upset. All I wanted was a stupid birthday cake that I could eat without triggering my stupid eczema. And now that won't even happen. And the children were like wild animals, and I didn't like any of them, and Eli only napped for 45 minutes... it was seriously just an awful day.

One highlight: Caleb rocked his spelling words for the week. His handwriting was great, he spelled everything perfectly... he was so proud of himself!

 I gave him a celebratory sucker, and then he asked me to take a picture of him.

He told me to send this picture to Chris and tell him that he got "a sandwich with a toothpick with that red covering". That child. I have no idea what is going through his head most of the time.

Then I tried to get dinner started. Eli was ready for his afternoon nap, but I really had to get things going before I put him down, so I was hoping he could just soldier through. The child busied himself with emptying the cabinet where I keep my pots and pans.

I particularly like the sock in the saucepan. I like to think that he's experimenting with a new recipe idea: Sauteed Sock.

"What, Ma? Why are you taking my picture?"

This child is into everything!

After dinner (luckily, the meal I had planned for tonight was easily modified to not require the oven), I told Chris that I either needed to go to bed and have a good cry, or go to the gym. I chose the gym, and I'm glad I did. It was packed, but I snagged a prime parking space and the only free machine. Then, my current favorite show on HGTV was on (Fixer Upper, in case you're wondering). Then, I ran into my friend Jen and had a nice chat with her. 

I'm not sure if it was the exercise-induced endorphins, or the solace of an understanding friend, but I felt much better when I got home. Even better, I returned home to this: 

Chris and Eli and Lily were chasing each other around the coffee table.

Eli thought it was hilarious!

And then all the kids joined in! Eli loves being the center of their attention, and being in the middle of all their action.

And Caleb especially loves Eli.

Yes, it's chaos, but it's a beautiful chaos, and it's MY chaos.

And then, all of the kids raced up and down the hall, competing to show me how fast they all were. It was hectic and loud, but they were so happy and it made me so very happy, too.

Or maybe I was just happy they were going to bed. Whatever.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and it is going to be a busy, stressful day. There is supposed to be a major snowstorm tonight. Tomorrow, Caleb has his swimming and fitness class, then speech therapy, Chris will probably be working to fix the oven, and we will probably end up having berries and whipped cream/ non-dairy coconut whip as my birthday cake. But still, I have four little darlings who are so excited to celebrate my birthday, and that counts for something.

February 22

I would have posted this yesterday, but then I really wanted to watch the most recent episode of Downton Abbey (I missed watching it live because of small group) and... well... priorities. Sorry. All I have for today is two cell phone pictures, but they are awesome ones, I promise.

After a nearly week-and-a-half-long break from homeschooling, we started back up with gusto today. I was determined to do ALL THE SCHOOL and hit it hard.

Well. The kids had other ideas; Caleb was willing, but the little ones really wanted all of my attention and all of my time. It was stressful. We started with Story of the World, which usually allows me to include the little ones. Once we finished reading, I printed out mapwork for Caleb and coloring sheets for the girls. They got out their art supply boxes and got to work. Then Eli needed a new diaper, or I needed to go to the bathroom, or something... I can't remember. All that matters is that I left them unsupervised for a few minutes. When I returned, Daisy immediately blurted out, "LILY CUT HER HAIR WITH THE SCISSORS!"

I love that I can always count on Daisy to tattle. That girl. Love her to pieces.

And she was right. Thankfully, it was in the front of her face, so it really just looks like long bangs. Also, she didn't cut off a big chunk, so it's not so bad. 

But really, I love that Daisy ratted her out. Otherwise, I may have never discovered it on my own.

Once the little ones were down for naps, we did the serious school stuff that we can't do with them around. Over a year ago, my aunt Deb passed a really special item on to us: a microscope from her childhood. She had desperately wanted it, and loved it and cared for it, and it was really special to her. We felt so special that she chose to share it with us! 

Of course, at the time none of my kiddos were old enough to appreciate or be trusted with it, so I just packed it away. Today, though, Caleb remembered it and begged to use it. So we got it out, plugged in some new batteries, read the instructions, and...

IT WORKED!

It's pretty impressive that nearly fifty years later, the microscope was in pristine working order. Caleb was so excited about it!