August 3

Today was the first full day without Chris, and we survived. I was impatient quite a few times, but I think my attitude and heart are in the right place, and the Holy Spirit is going to get me through it. At least, that's what I'm praying. I wrote the chalkboard wall today:

"Careless words stab like a sword,

but the words of wise people bring healing."

-Proverbs 12:18

So I'm praying that I will not utter careless words, but rather use my words to mend and heal my children's hearts when they are angry and frustrated. I might need some extra prayer, though, if anyone has some to offer.

Thanks to my mom, I was able to go up to the gym, which helped a lot. My mom is a gem, and I am thankful for her.

Oh, but pictures! I only have cell phone pictures today. Sorry.

The three little ones all napped at the same time, and I used the window to prep dinner while Caleb played with Legos. When dinner was ready to go, I tricked Caleb into crawling in bed with me so that I could nap.

And then Eli woke up.

And then Lily woke up.

But I wanted my nap, by golly, so I brought them all into my big bed and let Caleb and Lily watch PBS kids.

Eli watched his fuzzy toy.

I'm going to say that this picture is distorted, and neither Eli nor I actually look like that.

And then I looked over and realized that Lily, who had been sitting between Caleb and me, had inched her way over until she climbed into Caleb's lap. Caleb was so absorbed in the show that he didn't even complain; he just tried to find a way to see around her.

It was so cute and funny!

(Lily has  both applesauce and yogurt in her hair, which is why it looks like that. She's been resisting my attempts to pull it back lately. But tonight was bath night, so it no longer looks like she is attempting to grow dreads.)

I'm pretty sure this was the sweetest thing ever!

I really should go to bed, but I am dying to share the lovely photos that my friend Sara took for our anniversary. Do you want to see? Of course you do! Warning: I am sharing 29 pictures. That's a lot. And for some reason, there are an inordinate amount with me in them. But since I'm always behind the camera, I figure it's fair that there are more of me this time.

Lily threw up in the morning and we took pictures in the evening. She was not very cooperative.

At least she was cute!

I am absolutely in love with every version of this picture.

Seriously. 

And this one is so totally Daisy!

Lily would not pose for pictures with me, but Sara managed to capture this shot.

My boys. 

This girl is such a little imp. And yes, I have lots of gray hair. No, I am not planning to color it. I'm hoping it will all grow in a lovely white. That happens, right?

I'm so thankful I got one curly-haired child out of the bunch!

Though I suppose Eli still has plenty of time to grow curls, too.

Sweet baby! Look at that pudgy little hand!

He is so handsome.

And speaking of handsome...

I thought he was handsome when I married him thirteen years ago, but he's even more handsome now.

I love that he laughs at everything I say. Really, he laughs at everything everyone says, but I like to imagine that it's just me, and that I'm really that funny.

Also, he makes me laugh. He really is that funny.

Lily saw this picture and flipped out. She loves it. I may have to print it and frame it for her.

Sweet boy.

We had these same buckets, filled with daisies, at our wedding. At the time, I never would have ever considered naming a future child "Daisy". Funny how that goes. 

I love how stone-faced the girls are, and how Caleb is kissing Chris' head while Chris kisses me.

I love everything about this girl. Did you see that she swiped my necklace?

And then Eli was hungry, and Sara took a few beautiful pictures of him nursing. 

I suppose knowing that he is likely the last child I will breastfeed makes me a bit more nostalgic about things like this. I am so thankful to have such beautiful pictures of a natural, normal moment for us.

You can't tell from these pictures, but Eli and I are sitting in the grass, under the tree that I had planted for our tenth wedding anniversary, across the pond from the gazebo where we were married.

Perfect.

Thank you, Sara!

August 2

I have no idea why I'm still up; Chris left for Wisconsin this morning, and I'm single-mom-ing it for a while. But I can't let the blog slide, especially when Chris is gone and missing his kiddos.

I know we'll be fine without Chris, but "fine" and "fabulous" are two different things. Life is so much easier and more fun with him around.

I don't think the kids really understood that they were saying goodbye to Daddy for quite so long.

Chris snapped this shot of the big three dressed for church. Caleb picked out his plaid shorts, plaid shirt (buttoned all the way up) and striped vest (buttoned crooked) all by himself. He thought he looked awesome. Daisy also chose her outfit: a daisy shirt to help her new teachers at church remember her name. And Lily refused to let me put her hair back in a ponytail, instead insisting on that ridiculous hair bow. And you know what? I was happy with all of it.

Chris left me with these beautiful flowers for our 13th anniversary, which is today. 13 roses for 13 years, a red rose for Caleb (whose favorite color is always red), daisies for our Daisy, lilies for our Lily, and those spiky flowers and baby's breath to remind me of how painful and beautiful Eli's first few months were. The scent of the roses fills the room and lifts my spirit. It is perfect.

After Chris left, I took all four kids to church. Everyone except Caleb had a new classroom, and they all did great. After lunch and naps, I made a birthday cake for Jenny, who turns 33 tomorrow. We celebrated with dinner at her favorite Mexican restaurant. I'm hoping the food I ate was dairy-free enough that Eli doesn't puke all day tomorrow. Then we headed back to my parents' house for birthday cake. 

The older four kids tried on Grandpa's collection of motorcycle helmets (that's Caleb, Max, Daisy, and Jace),

and Grandpa gave them riding lessons.

The little ones thought they were nuts!

Then, cake. 

Jace was all about it!

This series of photos cracks me up. At first, it looked like normal candle-blowing-out pictures, but then I noticed Max on the right side. He's at least three feet from the cake, but trying his best to blow the candles out with Jenny. I love the expressions on his face!

Then Lily helped Jenny open her presents. 

Lily was petty funny tonight.

Also, you can't quite tell from this picture, but Jace loves Eli. Loves him. You can tell from this picture, though, that Eli is fascinated with Jace.

A kiss for the birthday girl!

Daisy said her favorite part of the celebration was when Grandpa read her books.

And Eli loved pulling Jenny's looong hair.

We left my parents' house at 8:45, and my mom and Ryan followed us to help with bedtime. I got Eli down in his crib by 9:30, the big kids in bed by 9:45, and Lily suckered my mom into snuggling with her until at least 10:15. She knows Grandma is a softy. But I know they'll all be up at 6:30 or sooner tomorrow, so I really should get to bed.

Maybe tomorrow I'll get around to posting some of the lovely photos Sara took of our family yesterday. They are pretty fabulous; I'll tease you with one up at the top of the blog page. For now, I need to sleep!

August 1

Big news: Eli slept in his crib last night for three hours. When he woke up, I debated going in and nursing him and putting him back down in his crib, but laziness won and I brought him into bed with me. That probably wasn't the right decision, though, because he is still struggling with the transition to the other side of the bed, and neither of us slept well.

Chris and I woke up this morning at 7:45, which is unusual because Caleb and Daisy always wake up at 6 am. 

Always. 

And they did today, too, but instead of waking us Chris up, they played quietly until we woke on our own. It was lovely.

Lily slept until 9:30, which is unusual for her, and seemed strangely groggy. Chris thought she was just tired, but this mama knew: the girl was sick.

An hour later, she puked all over the place.

Twenty minutes later, she puked all over me.

Poor girl.

She ended up going down for a nap at 1:30, and sleeping until I woke her at 5:30. But no more puking! I'm praying it's just a fluke, and that it passes over everyone else in the family. Chris leaves in the morning, and Lord knows I can't handle a stomach bug working through the family without him.

While the little ones napped, Chris took the big ones to a Splash Bash at our church. They had a blast! Then we met my friend Sara for pictures at the park where we were married - our anniversary tradition. Hopefully I'll have some to share soon!

In the meantime, I didn't take any pictures today. Oops. I realized this as I was nursing Eli to sleep, so I asked Chris to step in and take a few pictures with his cell phone.

That's real life right there. Hey, it's World Breastfeeding week today. There you go.

(Yes, I'm wearing makeup. Pictures, remember? It seems strange to see myself in it, though, since I never wear any.)

Goodnight, Eli!