Every Day with Eli

February 15

I'm sorry to say that it was not a great picture-taking day for me. Eli and I skipped church in the morning and small group in the evening and stayed in bed and nursed all day. I left the bed exactly twice: once to take him out for a photo shoot (more on that later) and once to go grocery shopping with Caleb. It was just what we needed.

This is what breastfeeding bootcamp looks like. Eli, me, and my Boppy, all in bed, with my hospital jug of water and breast pump parts in the background. Hopefully it's working, and hopefully tomorrow the craniosacral therapy will help Eli to start nursing on the right side so that I can ditch the pump.

Chris took the kids to church this morning, and to small group this evening. When they returned home from small group, all three kids came galloping into my room and clambered up into the bed. (Except for poor Lily, who isn't yet big enough to climb up into the big bed. She stood at the side of the bed and called, "Up? Up? Hulp? Up?"

When she finally got up, Lily was rewarded with snuggle time with her brother. Pardon the crummy cell phone photo, but I didn't dare leave her unsupervised with Eli long enough to go grab my real camera.

And then I saw on Facebook that the photographer we visited this morning had already processed a picture of Eli! Are you ready?

Here it is:

Yep, that is my baby, in a leprechaun hat, courtesy of Sweet Beginnings Photography.

Nope, I am definitely not the type of person who would pay a photographer to take a picture of my child in a leprechaun hat. So how did it happen?

Well, many of my friends volunteer for/support a teen maternity home called The Sparrow's Nest. One of my friends shared some info about a charity calendar benefiting The Sparrow's Nest; they were seeking baby models. Of course I signed up. My babies all are cute enough to be calendar models! When the photographer told me that my (still unborn at this point) baby had been chosen to be the March baby (you know, since he was due in March), I was thrilled! Then she told me that the look she was going for was "sleeping baby in a leprechaun hat". By then it was too late to back out, so I just rolled with it.

I have to say, the end result is pretty funny. I noticed the photographer did take a shot or two of Eli without the hat, so I'm holding out hope we may get a more normal image out of the session. In the meantime, I'm still waiting to share the pictures Amber took of Eli last week - I just ordered birth announcements yesterday, and I'd like to wait until those are delivered before I share the pictures. We'll see if I actually posses that level of self control.

February 14

Chris and I have celebrated sixteen Valentine's Days together, but today was the least Valentines-y of any of them. Eli and I stayed in bed until 10:30, we all wore our jammies all day, and there were no cards or flowers or sweet sentiments exchanged. Having a brand-new baby on Valentine's Day, along with three full-sized children, will do that to you.

If Eli hadn't come so early, we both would have tried harder to make the day special. But with the past few weeks being what they were, I have had to let some things slide. Planning for Valentine's Day was something that slid. The kids took store-bought valentines to school. We didn't send cards to far-flung family. I didn't make special valentines for each of the children or plan anything special for Chris.

But heart-shaped food? That I can do.

I'm pretty sure that heart-shaped food is the easiest way to make Valentine's Day festive for children. So lunch today featured heart-shaped cheese and heart-shaped apple slices. I even included the leftover apple rings with hearts removed, just for fun.

(The tulips in the festive vase were a gift from my mom. She knows just what I like, and I'm sure Chris appreciated not having to buy me flowers!)

Poor Lily is still sick, so she didn't really appreciate the hearts as much as the big kids did. But she wore a shirt with a sparkly heart on it, and she was really pleased with that.

See? Hearts = fun!

Meanwhile, Eli helped Chris work on a paper for graduate school that is due tomorrow.

Also, I just realized that Eli's little outfit makes him look like a Jedi-in-training.

After lunch, the mailman delivered two packages. One was a new wrap that I have been wanting to order for months now, but it has been out of stock. On Monday, I emailed a retailer asking when they would have it in stock, and they told me there was a wait list for the next stocking, and they didn't know if they would have enough for everyone on the list. Still, I could choose to be on the list to receive one, if and when they came in, but they made no promises.

On Thursday, I got an email with a tracking number.

Today, my beautiful new wrap arrived. Hooray! It's currently hanging to dry in the basement. Maybe tomorrow Eli and I can start breaking it in!

The other package was from my aunt Deb. She came up with an idea for a children's book, found an illustrator, and made it happen! Today, we received a package with her first book, A Box of Rocks, some stones from the beach, and some photographs that inspired the illustrations in the book.

Lily was napping, but Caleb and Daisy were so excited! They loved examining the agates and cobbles that Deb sent them.

Then we looked at all of the pictures Deb sent.

Finally, photos in hand, we read Deb's book. The kids were fascinated! They loved the story, and they especially loved seeing the photographs and how they translated into the illustrations. I love that Deb had a story that she wanted to share with all of her great-nieces and nephews, and she found a way to do it. What a thoughtful gift!

(psst: if you want to buy your own copy of A Box of Rocks, you can get it here.)

As the sun set, I realized I should snap a few photos of Eli, just because I hadn't really taken any of him today. So here is a sleeping baby for you:

Hi, Eli!

Enjoy your sleep, sweet baby!

Then it was time for our fancy Valentine's Day dinner: Chris and I enjoyed filet mignon, crab legs, asparagus, and twice-baked potatoes. The kids had heart-shaped pizzas.

Why yes, Lily is the only one who managed to get out of her jammies today.

Seriously. Heart-shaped food for the win.

Someday it won't be so easy to make these children so happy, but for now I'm enjoying every moment of it. Happy Valentine's Day!

February 13

Chris and I are a team.

We are a darn good team, and I am thankful that God put us together.

But there is no way we would have been able to handle the past two and a half weeks without my mom.

She has been here, uncomplainingly, with a smile on her face, when she was sick, when she was tired, when she was sick and tired.

She has rocked babies, fed bottles, read books, given snuggles, prepared more meals than she probably has in the past year combined...

She has needed no instruction, little direction, and has been able to seamlessly slip into our lives, so that this major event has been barely a blip in my children's lives.

We are so, so blessed to have her, and we are blessed by her co-workers who have covered her shifts, traded her days, and been generally forgiving if she hasn't been on her A-game because she was exhausted from tending to grandbabies.

I am thankful.

Today, mom found a co-worker to cover the first half of her shift so that I didn't have to take all four children to the doctor for Eli's weight check. She showed up at my house at 8:30, took over breakfast duties for the big three, and entertained them while Eli and I saw the doctor. When I got home, she fed Eli a bottle, then put Lily down for a nap, changed into her scrubs, and headed off to work. This has been a stressful few weeks, but it has helped so much to have her here.

Tomorrow she goes on (a well-earned!) vacation for a week. Tuesday, Chris is back at work on his normal schedule. I think I'm ready to handle things on my own.

I hope I'm ready to handle things on my own.

I have to be ready to handle things on my own.

In Eli news, we went in for a weight check today.

Kid clocked in at 5 pounds, 10.5 ounces. That's up 2.5 ounces from Wednesday, when we were hoping for an increase of 1.5-2 ounces. Way to go, Eli! It looks like breastfeeding boot camp is working!

This was us, waiting to see the doctor after weighing in.

(He's not actually that yellow - the walls are a bold yellow, and they're reflecting off his face.)

Except we're still not there yet. Eli still isn't on the growth charts, which is to be expected, but he also isn't even on the curve. So breastfeeding boot camp must continue.

He's also still refusing to nurse on the right side, where I had mastitis. (The mastitis is almost 100% better, praise the Lord!) On Monday, we will see a physical therapist who does craniosacral therapy in an effort to help Eli be able to latch and nurse on the right side. Once he's nursing on both sides, I can stop pumping 'round the clock, and we'll be on the road to normal. Hooray!

In the meantime, I'm continuing to nurse him every 2-3 hours, pump, and give him a supplementary bottle of breastmilk. Please pray that he continues to fatten up, and that he will begin to nurse on both sides?

February 12

Chris went back to work today, and we survived.

I'll be honest - the day was much easier because my mom came over at 11 and left at 7. But still. I handled the children on my own for a solid 2 and a half hours. OK, so maybe it wasn't that big of a deal, after all.

Breastfeeding boot camp for Eli is not going well. I'm doing everything I can - setting an alarm to wake me every 3 hours in the night, attempting to nurse Eli every 2.5 hours, giving him an extra bottle of milk every feeding, pumping 'round the clock... but sometimes, the kid just doesn't want to wake up. Or if I wake him up, he's just not interested in eating. And he still won't nurse on my right side at all. It's frustrating and discouraging. We go back to the doctor tomorrow morning for a weight check, and I'm prepared for bad news. Please keep praying for us?

In good news, Eli, Lily, and I took Daisy to preschool today. Lily, who was completely uncooperative on Tuesday, held my hand and walked into preschool all by herself. She was an old pro. She even held my hand and walked down the dozen steps, and back up them on our way out! I was so proud of her, and I could tell that she was pretty happy with herself, too. She also walked with me to get Caleb off the bus in the afternoon, and held my hand and cooperated the whole way. What a relief!

While Daisy was at preschool and Caleb at school, Lily got to have some quality time with her baby brother. What you can't see in this picture is that Lily's nose ran like a faucet all day today. What you can see is how much she adores Eli. It is so, so sweet.

Then my mom came over to stay with Lily so that I could go to Daisy's preschool Valentine's Day party. I wrapped Eli onto my chest and headed into the classroom, and Daisy lit up when she saw me. She wasn't expecting me to come, and I was a little bit late, so she was totally surprised when I walked in. Daisy immediately took my hand, walked me around the classroom, showed me all of the cool things she had done, and then brought me to the play-doh table. She pulled out a chair and told me I could sit, and then we played play-doh together. It was wonderful, and she was so happy.

Also happy? Lily, who got to spend time with her Grandma. Those two are so funny together!

The best part of my day was lunch time, when my mom put both girls down for naps so that I could crawl into bed to feed and snuggle Eli all afternoon. I am blessed to have a mom like her.

Eli and I woke up in time for me to get Caleb off the bus, and he was flush with excitement from his school Valentine's Day party.

Caleb had to bring a "mailbox" for his Valentines, and I was full of plans to create a simple box that Caleb decorated himself. Then Chris let me sleep an evening away, and when I woke up the kids were in bed and it was too late for my plan. I had to come up with a box that Caleb would love and that would utilize supplies I had on hand.

Lego box, it was.

Caleb informed me that it was the coolest box in his class, and he was really happy with it. He was also happy with all of the candy he got from his classmates.

While I attempted to take Caleb's picture with the box, I noticed a little someone creeping into the picture. Lily wanted to be in the photo with her brother! What a funny girl.

Also, her little sweat pants are hilarious.

Sleepy baby.

My mom grabbed my camera and snapped these shots of Daisy and me with Eli.

This girl. I wish I could adequately describe what a loving, thoughtful, compassionate, caring person she is. Daisy is so quick with an "I love you" or to ask if someone is okay. She always remembers people's preferences, and is surprisingly thoughtful and intuitive for a three-year-old.

And she loves her brother so, so much.

Seriously. Can you see the love-beams bursting out of her eyes?

And for some reason, she loves me. I hope that one day I can be the person she believes I am, but for now, it bolsters my spirit to know that this child believes the best about me. I am blessed.

February 11

This morning, a little window popped up on my phone, cheerfully announcing that I am 37 weeks pregnant today.

Oops. Not so much.

Later, a reminder popped up that Eli had his two-week checkup today. That's much more accurate.

This is us at the doctor's office, waiting to see our doc.

The appointment did not go well. Though my mastitis is finally getting better, Eli is not gaining weight. Or even growing, really. On Friday, he weighed 5 lbs, 6.5 oz. Today - five days later - he weighed 5 lbs, 8 oz. They typically expect to see babies his age gain an ounce a day, but Eli has only gained 1.5 ounces in 5 days. And his head hasn't grown. And he hasn't gotten any longer.

So. Our doctor gave me very specific instructions: Eli is to nurse on both sides (even on the bad, mastitis-y side) for 15 minutes each, then get a supplementary bottle of expressed milk. Then I need to pump the bad side for 10 minutes to get more milk for the next feeding,

Then I get a break for an hour, and then I start it all over again,

Around the clock,

Though the night.

Even though Chris goes back to work tomorrow.

Even though I'm exhausted.

Even though I have three other children to take care of.

I cried the whole way home.

I'm crying now.

Even harder than committing to this routine is the fact that Eli doesn't buy into it. So far, he has refused to nurse on my bad side. And half the time I can't even wake him up to eat when he's supposed to.

So mostly I'm feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, and worried about my child's growth and development. I'm not used to things being so hard.

Pray for us, please.

February 10

UPDATED WITH PICTURES!

If nothing else, I know my mom waited up for this post. Unfortunately, my internet decided to die yesterday, so I wasn't able to write this post yesterday.

More specifically, our modem and router were apparently so old that they became obsolete and the addition of a new wireless printer was more than they could handle and they quit. And my internet quit. I didn't realize quite how much I relied on the internet until mine just stopped working. I was at a loss.

But my handsome husbando made a late-night Best Buy run, and purchased a new modem and router for us and we are back in business. Hooray!

So. Today is Tuesday, and Chris goes back to work on Thursday. That means today was my one chance to practice taking Daisy to preschool with Lily and Eli. Yes, I realize it is neurotic to feel the need to "practice" something like this, but it's how I roll. So today, Chris and I loaded the three youngest kids in my shiny new van and drove to preschool. Though Chris was there with me, I insisted on doing everything myself, just to see if I could do it. He was there for moral support and emergency help only.

Well.

Somebody (whose name rhymes with "Silly") did not like that plan.

Somebody saw that Daddy was there, with open arms, and didn't understand why on earth she had to walk.

Somebody refused to walk into the preschool. Instead, she sat down in the wet parking lot and screamed.

It was awful. I cajoled. I encouraged. I praised good behavior. But the girl refused to take more than one step, and kept sitting down and screaming. Eventually, I had to scoop her up under my arm and carry her, wailing, into the school.

She kept screaming.

Everyone stared.

I was that mom.

And then I cried the whole way home.

She's not quite 19 months old yet, but Lily has made the leap from baby to full-fledged toddler. I've never really experienced the "terrible twos" with any of my other children, but Lily seems to have decided it's time.

Oh, yeah. This was when I found her emptying her pants drawer. By the time I came back with my camera, she had put most of the mess away.

This girl.

Seriously.

Even better? I was so discouraged by the morning that when it came time to pick Daisy up, I sent Chris and Lily to get her and chose to stay home with Eli. Chris reported that Lily cheerfully - cheerfully! - walked the whole way into preschool and back. That girl is just messing with me.

After lunch, my dear friend Amber came to take pictures of Eli for me. Less than 24 hours later, she had an amazing selection of beautiful photographs ready for me to peruse.

I am convinced she is a robot.

But I won't share those yet. Instead, I will share pictures of Amber at work, because it's pretty impressive.

What? What's that on Amber's chest? Oh, it's just her two-month-old daughter, Edie. Who had a cold. And yet Amber was still able to photograph my baby, and do it well. I told you she's a robot.

Here she's shushing my baby into a pose while her own baby sleeps right there.

Pretty impressive, huh?

Once you see the pictures, you'll be even more impressed.

Also, I discovered this today:

When I was pregnant with Lily, I bought these little ceramic birds on a whim. Two white ones for Chris and me, a blue one for Caleb, a pink/red one for Daisy, and a green one for Baby Rainbow. For my birthday a year later, Chris and the kids happened to buy me a few more ceramic birdies, and one just happened to be a little blue one. A year after that, we now have birdies for every member of our family, and it makes my heart happy.

UPDATED WITH PICTURES!

These are some of my favorites of the beautiful photos Amber took for me. I've already shared them on Facebook, but putting them on the blog makes them official.